The Restoration of a Former Lesbian

RICHMOND, Va.—Flo Hubbs lived as a lesbian for 14 years, and ultimately found healing and restoration through the words of an evangelist as well as a group of women who were struggling with hurt and brokenness—just like she was.

Hubbs is one of several speakers who has committed to the Safe Exit program from Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX, www.pfox.org), the nation’s leading advocacy organization that offers love and support to families and friends of individuals with unwanted same-sex attraction and gender confusion and also supports the ex-gay community.

Safe Exit offers curriculum, expert speakers and ongoing support to churches that want to open their doors to those struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions and gender confusion, and to support those who’ve left the homosexual lifestyle. Hubbs, along with others, will share her personal story as a Safe Exit speaker for interested churches.

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“So often, people are struggling and look to the church for answers, but sadly, churches are often not equipped to handle the complexity of same-sex attraction,” said PFOX Executive Director Regina Griggs. “Our goal is to help churches become places of safety for those struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions and gender confusion, while also being a place of truth that helps them in their journey.”

Hubbs, who now leads a PFOX group in Illinois, said she was able to redefine women as friends rather than sex objects when she joined a group of widows who were looking for affirmation that their lives had purpose, while Hubbs was looking for affirmation of where her life was going.

As a child, Hubbs was abused by her stepfather and prayed that the situation would be taken care of, finally deciding that “if God can’t do something, I will.” In college, she became promiscuous with men, with the attitude that she would use them and throw them away before they had a chance to break her heart. When she joined the Navy, however, she became involved with her female roommate and said it felt natural. After they were together for two years, Hubbs was transferred to San Diego, where she became involved in the gay bar scene and gay rights events. She and her new partner proceeded through a marriage ceremony and were together for nine years.

But then in 1992, Hubbs heard evangelist Luis Palau, who spoke against all sins—gossip, slander, adultery and homosexuality—but reminded everyone that God loves all of these sinners. Hubbs said the evangelist’s words pierced her, but affected her partner of nine years even more, who said that she no longer felt their relationship was right in God’s eyes. Although Hubbs was devastated by the breakup, she said she wanted to “hang on to Jesus” rather than return to the bar scene, possible alcoholism and certain death.

“Looking back at the emptiness of my life—my childhood, sexual abuse—just led to feelings of unworthiness. I tried to fill my emptiness with same-sex attractions,” Hubbs said in her video story on the PFOX web site. “I never really sensed that I was ‘born gay.’ I think that because I was looking for something to fill the emptiness in my heart that I accepted the love of another woman.”

Griggs says thousands of men and women with unwanted same sex attractions and gender confusion make the personal decision to leave behind their former gay identity and often approach churches for help in their journey.

Besides Griggs and Hubbs, other Safe Exit speakers include:

  • John and Donna Lawlor: after experiencing childhood hurts involving an abusive father and subsequent divorced parents, John entered the homosexual lifestyle. He shares his powerful testimony of leaving that lifestyle.
  • David Pickup: a licensed marriage and family therapist in California with extensive background in talk therapy who serves as president of the International Institute for Reorientation Therapies.
  • Chris Delaney: an ordained minister through International Ministerial Fellowship who has full-time ministry experience through Channels of Love to those infected/affected with AIDS; he has also worked with Agape Outreach Ministries and founded Joseph’s Coat Ministries, which reaches out to men and women struggling with same-sex attractions.
  • Denise Shick: an author and the founder of the ministry Help4Families.org, who grew up with a transgender father.
  • Melissa Ingraham: a licensed mental health counselor in New York who works with women on depression, anxiety, confusion, gender identity and unwanted same-sex attraction issues; she also previously identified as a lesbian. Melissa is the wife of ex-gay ministry leader Garry Ingraham and the mother of two children.
  • Garry Ingraham: the executive director of the Love & Truth Network ministry in New York. Love and Truth Ministry works to equip Christian leaders to develop safe and transformational environments for the vast majority of Christians experiencing relational and sexual brokenness. Garry struggled with same-sex attractions and pornography addiction throughout his life.
  • Dave Edwards: after experiencing childhood scars involving an absent biological father and an abusive step-father, David spent seven years in the homosexual lifestyle.
  • Bonnie Morgan and Phyllis Trapp: identical twins, one who lived as a lesbian and one who did not. Bonnie found healing when Phyllis introduced her to a Christian music program.

Churches interested in finding out more about Safe Exit can visit www.pfox.org/safe-exit/.

Griggs works directly with ex-gay ministry leaders, families and friends of those who struggle with same sex attraction. She became Vice President of PFOX in 1998, and has served as executive director since 1999. She has been interviewed by numerous television, radio and print outlets, including “TIME Magazine,” the “Los Angeles Times.” the “Washington Post,” the “Advocate” and the “Washington Times.”

PFOX is a national non-profit organization that supports families and educates the public on sexual orientation and the ex-gay community. PFOX supports an inclusive environment for the ex-gay community and works to eliminate negative perceptions and discrimination against former homosexuals by conducting public education and outreach to further individual self-determination and respect for all Americans, regardless of sexual orientation.

PFOX believes that every person seeking positive life change needs and deserves the love and support of family, friends the community and the church and strives to offer a place for help, a place for truth, and a place for ex-gays to participate in the conversation about same-sex attraction. PFOX families love their homosexual child unconditionally, believing that true love is granted in spite of our differences by treating each other with kindness and respect. Each year, thousands of men and women with unwanted same-sex attractions make the personal decision to leave a gay identity through gender-affirming programs, including counseling, support groups, faith-based ministries and other non-judgmental environments.

For more information on PFOX, visit its web site at www.PFOX.org, its Facebook page, its Twitter feed @PFOX4U, or email[email protected].

Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays is a 501(c)(3) national non-profit organization with a mission to support families and educate the public on sexual orientation and the ex-gay community. PFOX is committed to helping parents and friends of gays who want help, hope and community, and exists to provide education and support. PFOX works to provide understanding and acceptance of the ex-gay community.


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