Because You’re Too Stupid to Figure It Out

Phil Jensen


baby_cryingBecause you’re too stupid to figure it out, South Dakota government (which is run by “Republicans“), if you have a new child, is going to force you to watch a video which imparts the cutting-edge and previously unsuspected news that (gasp), babies cry a lot for the first several months.

From the Rapid City Journal:

PIERRE | A new program in South Dakota is educating parents about a period in a baby’s life when they may cry a lot.

Called “The Period of PURPLE Crying,” the program teaches parents about the period from about 2 weeks to 5 to 6 months when some babies cry a lot.

The program includes a 10-minute video and brochure. It’s given to all new parents and is required to be viewed at a hospital prior to being discharged.

I suppose for the past 6,000 or so years of human existence, no one knew that babies cry a lot in their first months. What the heck did we ever do before the government came along to tell us this?! I suppose people just watched their babies cry in dismay, thinking their baby was (a) deliberately trying to tick them off with incessant crying, or (b) simply born a liberal. People must have had no idea what was going on, what to do about it, or when the crying might taper off. None of this information was ever imparted from one generation to the other. Thankfully, we now have government to clue us in to this perplexing phenomenon.

Ted Cruz 2016


Do you ever get tired of being treated like a freaking idiot by your own government? If you’re a liberal, probably not; you probably find it comforting.

If you’re a regular American however, I suspect it infuriates you. And if you find that this kind of garbage doesn’t infuriate you, that may be a good clue that you’re a liberal.

This article is printed with the permission of the author(s). Opinions expressed herein are the sole responsibility of the article’s author(s), or of the person(s) or organization(s) quoted therein, and do not necessarily represent those of American Clarion or Dakota Voice LLC.

Woodrow Wilcox


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Bob Ellis has been the owner of media company Dakota Voice, LLC since 2005. He is a 10-year U.S. Air Force veteran, a political reporter and commentator for the past decade, and has been involved in numerous election and public policy campaigns for over 20 years. He was a founding member and board member of the Tea Party groups Citizens for Liberty and the South Dakota Tea Party Alliance. He lives in Rapid City, South Dakota with his wife and two children.
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  • WXRGina

    Unbelievable stupidity at the South Dakota taxpayers’ expense.

    • And if anyone tries to tell them to shove their crying video where it belongs, I can guarantee you hospital staff with threaten to sic Social Services on them for being bad parents. I’ve seen that kind of crap happen.

      • WXRGina

        Yep. These new parents are between a rock and a very hard place if they stand up for their freedoms.